Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
