he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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