So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
