I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
