I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
