i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize