Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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