I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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