***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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