I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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