im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
