So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
