is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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