Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
