Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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