It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
