State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're breaking my sexual little heart
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
