That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
