This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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