I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
