Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
