you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
