They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
