That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
