Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
two words...techno handjob
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
