I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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