Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
