2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
