member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
