C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize