Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
