Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
