I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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