Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
