When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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