I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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