Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Someone came in the potted fern
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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