he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
