Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
