I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
accomplished twins. life is a go
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
