do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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