If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
