she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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