The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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