I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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