so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
