He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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