At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
