Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
