I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
