if you like me you must not know who I am
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
its liver damage thursday
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
