I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
