three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize