So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
