somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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