thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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