Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
