he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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