That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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