They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
