in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
