I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
