So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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