woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize